Blog

I Hate Computers

As a kid, I never thought I’d be saying it – but I fucking hate computers. I love what they can do, I enjoy using them to create things, but I fucking hate them with a passion.

Ever since I was really young, I’ve been the computer whiz of my family. Everyone calls me to hook everything up, to fix what they’ve broken (often due to porn), and to show them how to use whatever shit they’ve bought that they should be able to figure out… kind of like I have to with every new thing they hand me. Just because you understand the concepts, doesn’t always mean you can jump right in and know everything. It’s like they expect me to have fucking designed the software or something.

Being the computer guy is great – but if you’re good at computers, for the love of all that is mighty don’t tell anyone. All they’ll do is hassle you to fix their mistakes, and often for free. Sometimes, I don’t even get a coffee out of it while I work. Such a thankless endeavour. :/

Thankfully, nobody really understands what a writer or an author is – and thinks what I do is basically a joke. As such, I don’t get asked to do practically anything related to what I do. It’s sort of a relief actually, as I’m rather tired of explaining things to people. When you’ve been the teacher since you were six (I got my first computer at five), sometimes it’s just nice to be the guy who sits back and watches someone else try and herd the sheep.

I know it’s a hell of a lot less stressful, that’s for sure.